When Git fucks you back
"I don\'t always test my code, but when I do, I do it in production."
You just wanted to push your changes. Now the entire team\'s commit history is gone and everyone wants your head on a spike.
Those innocent-looking <<<<<<< HEAD markers have now spread across 47 files. Your 5-minute task is now a 3-hour nightmare.
Spent 4 hours coding on main instead of your feature branch. Now you\'re googling "how to move commits to another branch" for the 50th time.
You\'re in a detached HEAD state and have no idea what that means. All you know is nothing is working and Stack Overflow isn\'t helping.
Your AWS keys, database passwords, and API tokens are now immortalized in Git history. Time to learn about git filter-branch while your boss panics.
Tried to be fancy with git rebase -i. Now you have duplicate commits, missing commits, and a Vi editor you can\'t exit.
Accidentally committed a 2GB file. Now every clone and pull takes forever and you\'re frantically learning about git-lfs.
git stash saved your work somewhere in the quantum realm. You\'ll never see those changes again. Should\'ve made a backup branch.
Cherry-picked one commit. Somehow ended up with conflicts in files you\'ve never even heard of. How is that even possible?
Pros: Problem solved. Cons: All history gone. Your team will never let you live this down.
When in doubt, delete everything and start over. It\'s not elegant, but it works.
Reflog is your undo button. Learn it, love it, abuse it when you fuck up.
Use only when: 1) It\'s your personal repo, 2) You\'re the only dev, 3) You enjoy living dangerously.
"Git is not that hard. Just remember the 800 commands, their flags, and when to use each one. Simple!"
✅ Commit often. Small commits = easier to unfuck.
✅ Use branches. Protect main like it\'s Fort Knox.
✅ Pull before push. Save yourself the merge conflict misery.
✅ Read the error message. I know it\'s scary, but it sometimes helps.
✅ Keep a backup. When all else fails, ctrl+c your working code.
✅ Learn reflog. It\'s saved more asses than seat belts.
✅ .gitignore is your friend. Use it before you commit node_modules.
✅ Never force push to shared branches. Unless you want to update your LinkedIn.